Last month marked 20 years since leaving England and starting a new life in France, with 3 young children and Arthur the dog. No savings, no work, no long term plan.
The children are now all grown up and I’m Nana to two little ones. Arthur rests under an apple tree in the garden. Since our arrival we’ve been joined by dogs Luna and Bang, 2 cats, 6 Guinea pigs, 6 rabbits, a few rats and a hamster. All of them apart from Kink the cat, Betty and Herman the rabbits and Bang are now also buried in the garden with Arthur.
We came to a temporary rental and moved 3 times in the first 2 years. But in 2006 we unbelievably became homeowners to this house I’m writing this post from and I absolutely don’t plan to leave any time soon.
I’ve learned so much in the past 2 decades and my life has changed immeasurably, but it’s important to stress however that I live in a rural and lower income part of southern France. This is not Paris. My experience is shaped by living in an area predominantly underpopulated, where a car is essential and work opportunities limited. Indeed, most 18-30s leave for the cities, although many will return when they start families of their own.
I remember our first weekend here, living up an isolated mountain village. We drove on Sunday to the nearest large town about 45 minutes away only to find the supermarket shut and we had no food. On the way back with the kids complaining bitterly we passed a farm selling homemade goat cheese. So we had to make do with that and stale toasted bread till shops reopened on Monday. That was our first culture shock.
THE GOOD(ISH)
I may have lived here for 20 years but I will always be a bit of an outsider. I speak French well, raised my family here, I contribute to the local economy, work and pay taxes. My village has been very welcoming to us but I will always be “l’Anglaise” – the rather odd artist who doesn’t eat meat or cheese and keeps both a hunting dog and rabbits (meat) as pets. But the people do seem to be happier with a more humble and slower way of life than I was used to in the UK.
In my village they love their potagers, always have time for a chat about everything and anything, and make do and mend. The secondhand and charity shops, vide greniers, friperies, markets and depot-ventes are always lively. I rarely buy anything new – books, furniture, clothes etc and love a bargain.
Nature here is vast – forests, mountains, lakes and rivers. Wild swimming abounds and the views from the mountaintops are heart stopping. You can drive for miles between villages and not see a soul, especially in winter. I hear a stone marten scrambling across my roof at night, the owl hooting, the stag deer bellowing. The river has heron, kingfisher, mink, voles, coypu. In the surrounding landscape are foxes, badgers, deer and wild boar. Overhead huge red kites circle and swallows dive and dart across our village square.
However, I also love the cities. Rich in history and culture, vibrant, colourful, perfumed and unbearably hot in summer. I love to visit for a day, even a few days but relish the deep peace and comfort when I return to my little village.
THE NOT SO GOOD
But it’s not all baguettes and cafés. I think I will always struggle with some aspects of French life. Bureaucracy is an absolute shit show, the hunting distresses me greatly and despite fantastic healthcare (my cancer treatment was amazing, and free), finding a good general doctor isn’t easy. Problems we as female patients have encountered such as endometriosis, mental health issues, persistent shoulder pain and ADHD to name a few have been subject to some serious medical gaslighting with a soupçon of misogyny on the side.
Nonetheless, these seem to me to be a fair price to pay. Nowhere is perfect and perhaps that’s part of the reason we’ve stayed. I came here with zero expectations, I had no idea how long we would be here or what I wanted, and thus no roadmap. But I did have a lot of curiosity, sense of adventure and an eagerness to learn. This is for sure my home. My chosen one but it’s the most belonging I’ve ever felt in my life.
{All of these photographs are shot with film cameras between 2009 -2017}