“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy.” – ALBERT CAMUS
I mentioned before how 2 years ago I took on a part-time job, and how it quickly turned into a full-time drain on my energy and capacity as the responsibilities piled up. I made an effort to sneak in some creative moments whenever I could, but by the end of 2024, I was completely burned out. My body had enough too: bronchitis, three damaged ribs, weeks of recovery. Stillness isn’t something I’m used to. I need to be in motion and my ADHD driven internal motor and chatter are always running, so this felt pretty weird for me. But in that liminal space I had a realisation. This way of living just wasn’t working.
So I quit my job and then I recalibrated.
I decided I would return to art, but adjust my goals, expectations and finances in a way that works for me as I live now, and how my brain works best.
Firstly, once I was recovered I took myself and my hound Bang on a solo, DIY artist retreat to a wild, windswept stretch of the Mediterranean coast at Leucate. I had no plan, just a deep need to reconnect with my creativity, follow my curiosity, and be alone in nature. It was exactly what I needed – space to breathe, think, and reconnect. I had no expectations and I’ve never been there before. The coast is wild, a protected area rich in marine life with a wind that can flay your skin. In a setting of dunes and ganivelles sculpted by the wind and sea, and while not entirely in the midst of winter, it did feel like I found parts of myself there.
I had packed up sketchbooks and art supplies, several cameras and cyanotype gear. But then I thought, you know what? I’m not obliged to use all the stuff and do all the things. I’m allowed to just BE. So I whittled down to the few things I knew I would use into a backpack and explored as much as I could, indulging my curiosities. It was SO beautiful and inspiring, a reminder that I thrive in the in-between, the pause, and the flow. Exploring the beach, the cliff tops, the rocky sentiers of pine and olive, making art wherever I felt drawn to do so. I don’t like rigid plans; I prefer to follow where inspiration leads. I loved being just with my dog, being able to please myself. And now I’m buzzing with even more ideas, raw materials and projects from this experience.
Right now, I’m reconfiguring my studio to optimise the space while I forge ahead with my new plans, including a in-person Concertina Workshop and 2 upcoming local exhibitions**; relaunching my creative support sessions (I’d love to help you if you need some encouragement, wherever you are in your creative life!) and putting more effort into creating YouTube videos – sharing slow, handmade things and art-filled days. If you would like to see it, I’ve made a video about the trip Bang and I took on our DIY art retreat.
P.S. I added a couple of free resources to the subscribers only library and I’ll be adding more over time
(** I will send you more details of the events if you are interested. Click here to be added to my events subscribers list and I’ll keep you updated.)
I know I’ve put my feet onto a path that makes sense to me, and I’ll take one step at a time and trust myself. It might be a slow path but I’ll just remind myself Vermeer was hardly prolific 😉
